no snow yet!

had a dream last night.. of a boat that was clear like glass but also of wood but was light and rested on the surface of the water like a leaf. and it could move and change shape to an extent like a mathmatacal shape. was beutiful..and graceful, mesmerising.

memories or dreams

this is about a memory i have maybe it was a dream. i dont know what day it was, or the time. anyway here it is..

I was sleeping..and he woke me, saying "sarah its snowing!" I grunted and snuggled deeper in the blanket. Then i heard my siblings run down the stairs look out of the door and shouts of excitement as they rushed to put on lots of layers and to find gloves or socks to protect their hands.
i got up and went to the door, we peered outside, it was white, thick white snow covered everything, and the sky was full of thick flakes, falling softly but quickly, a golden glow from the lamp posts on the snow set a erry feeling, a feeling of excitement rushed through me and i rushed also to get boots and a jumper.
we stood on the step wanting to rush out but also wanting to preserve the beauty, but eventully reuven jumped and laughed and ran about, yoey following in his steps, he ran out and followed them as i steped in it too feeling the crunch under my feet, it was cold and clear, and i couldnt see the sky cus the sky was full of snowflakes.
i ran to him and we ran together, and then danced, till we were standing hugging in the road as the snow fell around us, and the children were playing near us.

that moment as we held each other, time stopped. everything was still except the snow that fell.

my teddy

when i was a kid. (a long time ago) I had a teddy bear. (as we all do)
he was brown and had a ribbon round his neck, which i removed cus he mite choke on it.
now sometimes i would lose him in our flat, and my mum told me that he had gone on a bike ride.
she would make stories of him wearing a bike jacket and tearing up the streets on a black moterbike.
sometimes pinkypants would join him. i belived it was true.

hot flushes

flushing the tiolet i found..can be used as a warning device. ie to stop people bursting in Or to stop your family from leaving to spain without you.

tears..

i havent cried, fully for along time.
sometimes i feel really sad, so sad i feel like i going to cry. but i cant. it is like there is a door there.
after david left i cried so much, i couldnt cry no more. i dont know why i loved him so much. but it was there and true.
i think it is not good, beacuse people say its good to cry and natrual to let it out etc..but i try and nothing happens.

Attack Of The Flannel!!!!!!!!!!!

one of the worst things in the morning...is having a perfectly co-ordinated temperature shower go suddenly... Frezzingly Cold.
Of course this happens wen u got the soap aleady in your hair.

i still have vivid memories of being with my grandmother when i was younger, and we are in the park feeding the ducks or in a posh resterunt or going on a train journey and after lunch or snack time :), and i all happy and content and Then..out of the blue! i am ambushed by this cold damp flannel, that smells strongly on imperial leather soap. abuse!

thankfully i grew taller so i could escape.



- my grandfather in newcastle died on thursday. :(

london!

im in london! yay! and on the net..which is kinda sad..the underground is HORRIBLE, worse than when i was a kid. everything seems smaller and more clostrophobic, and the escalators are like mountains, and faster than in manchester.
there are less starbucks cafes! i only saw 2 near waterloo station, very far from each other and no downstairs...POO
oh and you cant buy tickets on the bus, you have to use these weird ticket machines. so odd. and its 1.70 for single tube journey.

waiting..

i have relised today, that people dont reply to important emails. i thought that if it was about money or buisness then yea you would get a next day email. but no. you dont. this makes things very complicated, since i cant exactly call up a ebay seller, and ask were my 4 watermelons have gone. its weird, email is faster than snail mail, yet people dont use it.