soap

soap is a very weird invention and concept. when i was young a bar of soap would take forever to use, and it always got thinner in the middle, and the end was a thin small peice that no one ever used and it kinda just melts in a pool of dirty water. now it seems to take 2 months and u left with a nice oval peice that u can remold in the hot water, or stick it to another peice. maybe its ur mind that changes not the soap. my family always uses imperial leather soap, i have noticed that everyone smells of defferent soap, and if u stay will them for awhile you kinda smell like it too..and its kinda weird but also nice too..

yayyy

yay i got my first pic on here! yay for flicker! or flickr!! i dont think i ganna start puttling my pics on here tho, not after all those murdered people.

bears

took this picture in Farnham, after visting my grandparents with omer.

curry

yup its curry, me and omer made it, reuven snaped the pic tho, taken with a camra phone!

randomness

screaming inside me
no one hears
i walk down the street
but i dead inside
pain in my eyes
no one sees
tears in my heart
im so broken,
no one can fix me

dunno wot this is, it was in my mind today.

i miss september

its so cold out, its like winter is back. i feel like a trillion years old but i missed out on all the birthday presents. and no increasing age...would be kinda cool. i find myself thinking alot about time, creation the meaning of it all. i seek solice in my books, or pages of blank paper. i dont like the dark.. at night i find the childhood monsters of nightmares creeping up to me and taking hold of me.

i think my writting on here has changed.. i cant seem to write like i used to. so weird.

i miss the internet at my home. wish i had it. i miss the kids too. i wish i could get a few on loan, just to scream and run up and down the stairs like maniacs. my siblings growing up so fast now, and getting quieter.

i think it would be fun to be old, then no guy will oggle at you. and ur hair easy to dye. and u going deaf so noise dosent bother you no more. but i guess i only see one side of things.

i hate being my age and judged beacuse of it. or being White and a girl and therefore being known.

weird pee phobias

people seem to have pee phobias.
i dont know if this affects guys.
but in the girls loo i have noticed that that if a girl comes in with her friend, she will ask her friend to keep her hand under the dryer so no one will hear her pee. i think this is a waste of energy for the dryer, maybe the loos should be equiped with a loud radio station.

weird dreamy film

watched a weird film yesterday. we were supposed to see "just like heaven" and instead we walked into the wrong screen. we were halfway thru the "mirror mask" when i relised that it was the wrong movie as there was a girl walking accross a bridge with fish swimming down the street, that this had nothing to do with a romantic comedy.

i think there are 2 people kinds in life, maybe more, i not sure cus i not spend much time thinking on it yet.

one is a person who is like a spnge, they soak up everything in life, get really involved with it and get torn alot.

the other just sees things, and notices them, obervering and making choices that are most easyest to get too or most energy saving.

pink cord cargo pants

i have a pair of pink cord cargo pants. now if you know me, the real me, then you will know how i hate PINK. and i want it to DIE. i dont know why i think maybe beacuse of babies, they are pinky or the whole pink and baby blue thing. so my point is, this is really unlike me. but i was in H and M*, drinking Tesco's strawberry milk, when i relised that they matched the trousers in front of me....and i was struck by this amazing white looking light that wearing them would be like wearing strawberry milk. now if the pink cord cargo pants also smelt of strawberry milk then this would be SUPERIFICLY AMAZING. but sadly the public (most of the world) probley does not want this so they aint in the shops for me.

most of the time it feels as if i have a typewritter in my head, and i am just tping another's words down. does this make sense? ...i guess not.

aint it funny how wen u going past a building, if it reads SHOP u instantly pick up on it.

why is english the way it is? why is blue color called blue? why not something else? english is so limiting in words... i need more to express myself.

i feel very trapped most of the times, sometimes in life, but mostly in me. my body is not strong, weak in muscles, i cant do the most simplist things, like turning a key or switching off a tap. it scares me. that maybe i will get locked in or be in the bath and cant turn off the tap, stand struggling at the door. i feel for old people or people that are disabled. u are just as strong in your mind but your walls trap you.

i wonder what it is like to be a child, that is blind and deaf, all they can do is feel. but how do they know right or wrong? or have the concept of g-d? it must be so scary. but i think also calming, as they dont experince the harsh world that seems to be all about advitisments with sex in it.

i love materials as much as i love words. the different colors, patterns, the feel of different fabrics. i love how a woolen jumper gets softer as you wear it, but one wash makes it firm and dry against your skin.

* H and M is a very strange shop. nearly nothing in there is wearable for outside, or infront of people.

milky moo

i saw people eating off the floor in the food court today. people are so hungry and cant stand the rain so they are like desperate people. it is really stuppid that the only quick eating food place is burger king and pizza hut and greggs, but greggs has no tables, why? where are we supposed to eat?? its crazy. and why there no original places for food or drink? its only starbucks and nero. i neeeeeed something different.

kittens are seemingly hard to find too.